Your most valuable possession is yourself. Source: Jackson David
- Look inwards and wash away the pain of the past
- Pamper thyself and cherish every moment of it
Searching for the love of my life is like waiting for a train that wouldn’t arrive. At the same time, we all feel more desperately in need of love when no self-love exists within us. Delicate, isn’t it?
I noticed that self-love wasn’t present within me until I learned that the way I treat myself sets the standard for others. Slowly yet steadily, I built my own castle of self-love, where I found inner peace and self-worth without dependence on anyone else.
Some may say that self-love is an action of the needy and selfish. Yet, self-love is a journey of discovery, where you learn to treat yourself with kindness and gain self-reliance. Little did people know, self-love can be as simple as standing up for what you believe in!
Along this journey, you will be more attuned to your real feelings while creating space within your heart to be vulnerable and authentic. When your soul is uplifted and filled with passion, true love will be drawn to you as if you were a magnetic field of positive energy!
Also, wouldn’t a love story feel more compelling when it involves two individuals who already own a wonderful life? Curious to know more? Here are four ways for you to cultivate self-love:
1/ Focus on yourself
Prioritise yourself before others! Source: Unsplash
Just like the namesake, you begin by focusing on yourself. You may be confused about how focusing on yourself is related to finding your Prince Charming. Listen up, Snow Whites! When you do not prioritise yourself, you won’t feel worthy and happy to be you! Isn’t it unfair to rely on others for your own happiness?
There are numerous ways to focus on yourself. For me, spending time doing things that I am passionate about gives me a sense of worthiness. I would go for dance practices with my friends to have a good stretch.
It is not just about physical satisfaction. You should also set time for your favourite hobbies to avoid getting burnout! Try out meditation or write a journal about your life. In my opinion, writing my thoughts into a daily journal keeps my mind from running everywhere, and it gives me a clear vision of the tasks ahead. It is essential to listen to your heart and cultivate the self-assurance you need, both physically and mentally!
2/ Heal from your past relationships
It is a journey of discovering your old self. Source: Kelly Sikkema
Remember the lyrics from Clean by Taylor Swift? It goes like this, “Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean.” Bring peace upon yourself by leaving and healing from your past relationship. By letting go of your old love, you will finally have the room for your true love.
Cultivating self-love doesn’t necessarily mean erasing all the bitter memories from your past. It is about getting closure on why things didn’t work out before, moving away and learning from it so you would not repeat the same mistake when you meet the right person.
For someone who is an ambivert like me, talking with my besties about my feelings helps me understand and learn from my own mistakes. Listening to a wistful or hopelessly romantic playlist alone helps too!
3/ Pamper yourself
Pamper yourself as if you are treating your lover! Source: Roberto Nickson
A common fallacy that society often says is that we need to wait for the right person to show up to do the things we love together. But hey, don’t leave the list of things you wanted to enjoy in a closet of backlog dreams!
You only live once. Doing the things you love will uplift your energy, turning you into a magnet for love. For instance, I would treat myself by trying a restaurant I have always wanted to go to or buying myself flowers simply because it feels good to love yourself.
You could also play your favourite movie while enjoying a cosy spa night alone at home. Perfect for peeps who had a long day at work!
4/ Live life to the fullest
Happy, free and definitely not confused at the same time. Source: Antonino Visalli
Here is the last tip: to live life to the very best of your ability! Your life is already happening right now, therefore self-love should not start only when your true love arrives. The cumulative effects of loving ourselves and following our hearts allow us to become a bigger and bolder version of ourselves.
While doing so, true love will be attracted to you by your charisma, just like tulips attract butterflies in the midst of a garden. Need a few ideas to live your best life? Read along! Go attend that embroidery class you always wanted to join, or perhaps begin a new hobby that piqued your interest, such as home decorating, gardening, exercising and more. You get the idea! Personally, attending festivals, catching up with friends, and writing will instantly light up my day as they are what I am passionate about!
Remember, love yourself first!
When you take care of yourself and become truly happy in life, true love will come on its own, drawn to your charismatic energy. Before ending this, here is a quote from Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”