True love! That feeling of warmth, tenderness, passion, desire. Photo Credit: Adobe Stock
- A true story of a girl who found the love of her life
- The way she broke the stigma of the impossibility of “Love at first sight”
- Always remember with communication, there is trust and understanding for a successful relationship
- Never let external factors deter such as race, religion or appearance, background deter your relationship with your partner
Does “Love at first sight” really exist?
Can I actually find a man with all the qualities that I want of him?
Is it possible for people to be together despite their religious values and beliefs?
Does the stereotype that my parents have planted in me to not get involved with a Muslim guy affect my decisions in finding a partner?
These thoughts constantly lingered in my mind during my primary and secondary school days. Growing up watching Bollywood films created in me a scenario of a perfect relationship, marrying the man of your dreams and leading life the way you want it to be with the someone you love with all your heart.
As time passed and years passed, I started questioning myself, is there such a thing as perfect? Is everything going to be smooth sailing on a bed of roses? Does something called “Love at first sight” exist after all? Is it impossible for Christian and Muslim individuals to be together after all? These questions created doubt in me while watching my parents argue, friends break up, and even people known to my family who were head over heels for each other end up in a state of divorce.
We often allow our surroundings to consume us, making us constantly doubt ourselves and our decisions. It then brought me to think and reflect upon those situations around me. Is it really necessary to allow it to affect my soul and mind?
I grew up in a household where my parents staunchly ruled that I wasn’t allowed to date, especially a “Muslim”, their reason being that I would have to convert, it would be me giving up my God for another. Although their staunch and opposing views on this topic made me subconsciously devalue my desire to be with someone, for some reason, whenever it came to me loving someone, I never gave their opinions a second thought. I would often not reconsider my situation regarding this part of my life.
Everything started in December 2013, right after my final exams; I met the man of my dreams, someone I least expected to be with. As the saying goes, “Not everything you desire will be fulfilled.” But for me, I would say that everything came into place. What made me say this? Well, the man I proudly call my boyfriend now was someone I saw in a photo; he was just someone I admired at first and wished he could be mine.
The Beginning Of My Love Story (We met through Facebook)
The day we both met
I clearly remember after about a week, I received a friend request on Facebook from him, and just receiving that notification gave me butterflies in my stomach; that joy and excitement was unexplainable. And so what would I have done? Obviously, I accepted the requests right away, with a message later saying: Hi, thank you for accepting my friend request. Can we get to know each other? We started chatting as friends for about three months and slowly decided to take it to a more serious level, so we dated.
Who said dreams don’t come true? Who said love at first sight does not mean anything? And whoever said true love doesn’t exist, well, they certainly do. My boyfriend and I have come this far, marking 10 years of our relationship. My friends envied me and always questioned how I found my true love through Facebook. How can you be with one man for such a long time? For me, it was simple, and I always had the mindset that if you have found your one true love, hold on to the relationship till your last breath. It may sound a little “cliche”, but those are facts.
WAS IT ALL PERFECT? WELL, NOTHING WAS SMOOTH-SAILING
No relationship is without its fair share of ups and downs. Photo Credit: edwardsuoh13
Like any other couple, my boyfriend and I faced challenges in our relationship. Life circumstances changed, and new stressors emerged, but we persevered through it all. It all started when I began dating my boyfriend, who happened to be a Muslim. When I shared the news with my mother, she was not supportive and constantly questioned my decision. My father, on the other hand, advised me to focus on my studies and decide later. With the pressure from my mother, my father later changed his stance and became against our relationship as well. I knew they would never accept it, so I lied and hid it from them.
Despite the challenges, my boyfriend and I found ways to be together, even when I was grounded at home for almost two years. He was always there for me, supporting me and lifting me up. I was scared that he would leave me, but he proved to be different. We met behind my house lane until I was able to leave home and join college.
Our journey was a rough road, and not many people would have endured it. But I loved him, and he loved me, and we fought for our relationship no matter what. I believe that when you love someone and if it’s worth it, you should go to the ends of the world to fight for it. It’s something you’ll never regret.
NEVER LET THE EXTERNAL FACTORS THAT SURROUND DETER YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The decision to lead a happy life is yours to make. Photo Credit: lifeadvancer
External factors can affect both the end of old relationships and the start of new ones. While distance, interests, and demands can cause changes, in my case, pressure from my family not to be with a Muslim man was the external factor. Although this could have affected us, my boyfriend and I made a deliberate effort to never let it control our relationship. Despite ongoing challenges, we continued to pursue each other.
In my experience, the most valuable advice for couples is to trust their own instincts when making decisions about their relationship, work, or education. It’s easy to feel pressured by other people’s opinions, but I’ve learned that this can be harmful in the long run. When I’ve made choices based on what feels right for me, it’s led to more fulfilling outcomes.
WHERE THERE IS COMMUNICATION, THERE IS UNDERSTANDING AND TRUST
Better communication leads to better trust. Photo Credit: goop
Better communication between you and your partner leads to more trust in each other, and better trust leads to more confidence. Effective communication techniques help to make you and your partner feel secure. Without that, it would be hard for any relationship to prosper. When you communicate daily, it makes you and your partner understand each other better and know what each other is going through, which strengthens your relationship further. That’s why, no matter how busy my boyfriend and I were, we always communicated with each other every day and shared whatever was going on in our lives with each other. This actually made us know each other even better and created a deeper bond. Sometimes we even talk for hours each day. The thought of setting a time to talk to your partner, even when you are not living under one roof, works for the betterment of the relationship.
There are many couples out there who do not make communication a key in their relationships. Remember that no matter how tight your schedule may be or how occupied you are, try to make time for each other. Sit down and communicate your daily activities if you are living together, or meet up for coffee or call each other to express your feelings. Sometimes we don’t realize that these small actions can make a huge difference.
OVERCOMING ALL ODDS TOGETHER
Our love only grew stronger and deeper.
Despite all the problems, trials and tribulations through this relationship, I managed to go against all odds to be with the man I love. Nothing stopped me from loving him and pursuing the relationship I strongly believed was “meant to be.” The questions that I constantly used to ask myself is,
When the going gets tough in my relationship, what do I do?
Do I leave the man I love behind, or do I fight for him?
Do I leave him only because of the pressure I am getting from my parents?
The answer here is simply NO! When it is right, you know it in your heart, mind, and gut. That means you don’t give up without even trying everything in your power to make it work out. You don’t have to beat a dead horse, but the “what if?” will always weigh on you if you don’t do whatever you can to salvage your relationship. And a simple term to remember is never to let anyone determine how you live and with whom you have decided to spend the rest of your life.
It was my best decision to hold on to my relationship thus far, to fight for being with a man like my boyfriend, who deserves the world, who chooses to stand by you when millions are against you, shows that he is truly the one.
I would say even the stereotype of never getting involved with a Muslim man, planted in me from young, was broken the minute I decided to be with my boyfriend. I view the religion “Islam” very differently; many might think that is very complicated and pressurizing to be with someone of this belief, but trust me, it is not the religion or race that determines your relationship, it is the never-ending love and trust that you have for one another which makes the relationship successful. For me, the love that I had for my boyfriend made me understand that if I had to marry him in my country, I would have to change my faith and I was willing to do it, nothing was forceful. In love, nothing should be ever done in force.
To all those who say true love does not exist, or that religion and race matters, I would totally disagree with that. I have found mine through an impossible way and being with someone from a different belief has brought me thus far. So, nothing is impossible, if you choose to fight for it and make things work all things will end up perfectly, sometimes without even you realizing. To all women out there, always remember, when choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with, never make hasty decisions as those will be the biggest decisions that will determine your life and the way you are going to live it. Learn to “WAIT” and the right man will come along the way. In all the decisions that I have made and how far life has brought me till today, choosing my boyfriend was the best thing that has happened to me. If I had to, I would choose him over and over again.
So, take time to choose who is best for you, and that day will be the best day of your life!