The Unknown Terrain of Arranged Marriages

By Anais / 12 April 2024

Bound Tradition When royalty meets the path of arranged matrimony. Photo Source:

Arranged marriages, huh? 

Just the phrase itself brings to mind images of families striking deals to ensure their children end up together, often for reasons like preserving family wealth or status. It’s not exactly the fairy tale beginning most of us dream of.

This bound tradition has existed for ages, and it was more common in the past than it is today. Back then, marriages were arranged for various reasons: financial stability, social status, you name it. It was simply the norm. But times have changed.

Nowadays, arranged marriages are making a comeback, even among young people like us who are navigating our own paths in the world.


Love and Arranged Marriages: Bridgerton and Beyond

bound tradition Pokok.AsiaThe Struggle of Comfort in Arranged Marriages. Photo Source:

Imagine scrolling through TikTok, and suddenly, a video challenges your entire perspective on arranged marriages. It makes you stop and wonder: maybe there’s more to this tradition than meets the eye. 

For me, it was a moment of disbelief. What could marriage mean to those who opt for arranged unions?

For starters, marriage is a blend of love and connection, akin to finding the perfect dance partner—flaws and all. Love serves as the glue that binds it together. It’s about choosing a partner whom you know and accept entirely, quirks included. 

But with arranged marriages resurfacing, it’s time to pause and ponder what marriage truly entails in today’s world.

bound tradition Pokok.AsiaAnthony Bridgerton: When Arranged Plans Fall Apart and Love Finds Its Way. Photo Source:

My cousin Lola shared a different take. For her, marriage is more of a strategic alliance, prioritising security over love. I found it hard to grasp. 

Consider Bridgerton’s first two seasons, where relationships start off as arrangements but evolve as the characters question the notion of marrying without love or connection. They choose to follow their hearts, seeking partners with whom they truly resonate.

To me, love is about taking risks, even if it means challenging family expectations or breaking traditions. But nowadays, it seems like relationships revolve around benefits and profits. While arranged marriages might make sense for some—offering stability and family approval—they’re unthinkable for a hopeless romantic like me.

Yet, I understand the appeal. In a world where genuine connections are scarce, arranged marriages offer stability and certainty. For some, love can be learned and nurtured over time. Ultimately, whether it’s love or arrangement, the quest for companionship remains a deeply personal journey.


Beyond the Facade

bound tradition Pokok.AsiaArranged marriages aren’t a recent phenomenon, and women have often been their victims. Photo Source:

Arranged marriages have a long history, often leaving women feeling like victims of circumstances. But behind the cultural facade lies a darker reality. Consider the stories of individuals like a girl forced into marriage despite her protests. How does it feel to be powerless in such a pivotal life decision?

Even worse are cases where parents accept money to marry off their daughters, disregarding their desires entirely. The internal struggle these women face is unimaginable, robbed of agency in a momentous life event. It’s a gross injustice.

Now, picture the mental toll. Marrying someone you neither love nor like, feeling trapped with no escape. It’s no surprise many in such situations battle with their mental health.

Forced marriages aren’t just about legal and ethical debates—they’re about real people suffering profound consequences. While some argue for the security arranged marriages offer, we mustn’t ignore the human suffering they entail. Love should never be coerced; it’s a choice that should be freely made.

So, as we consider the nuances between arranged and forced marriages, let’s not overlook the human stories behind them. Should love be a choice or a contract? And for those trapped in forced unions, how can we offer support and advocate for their freedom? bound traditions are not for everyone 



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