First Dates’ Dealbreakers 101

6 things to avoid on a first date

By Kumaraguru / 10 February 2022

Date Pokok.Asia

Romance starts from a good first date. Source: Energy Resourcing

  • First dates are important to leave a good impression about oneself.
  • Only a good first date can guarantee the following ones.
  • Pay attention to the don’ts so that you can have a wonderful, romantic and successful first date.

Dating can be tricky, and I feel you! From getting to know each other to being emotionally invested in each other, it takes up a lot of time and effort. But, the experience of sculpturing a healthy relationship with mutual understanding is something to be applauded. 

Yes, dating someone is challenging, but you should know that having a strong foundation before getting into the real deal is a wise choice. And it all starts from your very first date. First dates are either magical or disastrous! Hope you had a fair taste of both flavours, haha. Pretty sure you are halfway reminiscing about the old days already! 

Let me subtly throw a statement out there:

If you screw it up on the first date, that could be the end of the chapter. First dates are important to leave an embarking impression of yourself to your dates. So, if you want to start it right, then here are some things you should avoid on a first date. 


1/ Don’t Mention About Your Ex

“Me and my ex used to …”

“I met my ex in …”

“My ex bought me …”

If that is how you are carrying on with a conversation with your date, you have to STOP immediately. Your date isn’t going to be interested in your past experiences with your ex. They are there and present to get to know you. 

Conversations involving details about ex-partners will literally not promise you a second date with the same individual. This could result in tension on a first date which could be a major turnoff. On top of that, it could also be a sign that you are not entirely over with your ex. 

Always remember that you are going to start on a new, clean sheet and not constantly drag your past lovers into every new chapter of your story. All you have to do is zip it and talk about exciting topics instead.


2/ Avoid Talking Too Much About Yourself

Physiologist and author Karen Sherman, Ph.D once said, “Too much about yourself suggests you are too self-involved”. First dates aren’t an ideal platform for you to get all selfish about yourself! Tone it down a notch, my friend. 

Finding a balance in your conversation is crucial on first dates, regardless of how extroverted or introverted you can be. I agree that first dates are all about breaking the ice but try not to overdo it.  

It would be best if you shared things about yourself but at the same time, make sure to ask the person sitting opposite you a decent amount of questions. Make room for two-way communication and not just shooting them with never-ending self-obsessed stories. They are called first dates and not Ted Talk for a reason at the end of the day. Think about it! 

Date Pokok.Asia

Spend quality time getting to know each other on a date. Source: Cdn Lifehack


3/ Don’t Bring Up Marriages Or Kids

Imagine meeting a person you are interested in and laying a heavy topic on the table for the first time. Ridiculous! Topics revolving around marriages and kids are not the appetizers you need on a first date. It’s relatively too early even to be planning about the future together.  

Even if it is a casual conversation regarding these topics, it’s a big NO. Marriages and kids are inclusive of personal topics, which can cause discomfort among individuals. At times, opposing opinions can lead to heated arguments and unwanted misunderstandings. Avoid it cause it isn’t a matrimonial website, it’s the first date, for God’s sake. 


4/ Stay Off Your Phone

Reminder: Do not scroll through your social media or even be engaged with any apps on your phone when you are on a first date. Crucially, it’s disrespectful to the person sitting there with you. 

This is the most basic ethics on a dinner table. Stay away from distractions caused by your phone and be present in the moment. First dates are such adequate opportunities to dig deeper about the person you are interested in. 

In addition to that,  the act of constantly checking your phone gives an impression that you are bored of the company and are getting tuned out of the conversation. So, be a wise man or woman and pay the fullest attention to your dates. Things can wait,  but your date isn’t going to. 

Date Pokok.Asia

Don’t get distracted with your mobile phone when you are on a date. Source: Unsplash

5/ Don’t Get Drunk

You don’t want the room to be spinning on your first date, don’t you? Having a glass of wine on a romantic first date is totally fine, but make sure you know your limits! Excessive drinking can lead to a nightmare of a night! You never know what could happen when you are drunk on a first date.

Things might go overboard, and you don’t want to be waking up to your date sleeping next to you, naked. It is likely for your first date to become a one night stand if you are drunk. Don’t do it! Rather, use the time to get engaged in the conversation attentively.

6/ Don’t Have Sex On The First Date

Yes, sex is exciting and sensual, but not on a first date though. As sexually attracted as you are to your date, sleeping with them right away is not a smart way to call it a day! Remember, patience is a virtue. There is always a right place and time for everything.

On the other hand, if you foresee a committed relationship with your date in the near future, sex on the first date is not the right way to start the journey off. Also, bear in mind that sex doesn’t promise anything solid to spark between you both. In fact, it could even be the reason that you get ghosted at the end of the day. Play it quirky, not dirty!

Make It Count!

First dates are meant to be mysterious. So, make every second of it count! A wisely planned first date can guarantee you consecutive dates. Thus, do the right things, say the right things and ask the right questions so that you don’t sabotage a potential long term relationship. The beginning is essential to promise a happy ending!

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