Not Tonight Babe

Dealing With Female Sexual Dysfunction

By Demie Makamache / 3 September 2021
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We understand how stressful it can be. You are not alone—source: Professor’s house.
  • Dealing with sexual dysfunction can feel isolating and downright scary sometimes, but you are not alone. We hear you, and we are with you during this frustrating period.
  • Read on to learn ways you can counter this problem!
  • Your healthier and happier version is literally eight minutes away with this simple read! 

It’s been a long day, and you just want to unwind with a glass of wine, a book, and a hot bath with those aromatic salts you bought. However, your special someone starts getting ideas and throws you subtle (not!) hints, so of course, it’s only natural that you turn them down. Cause you’re tired, duh!

Except, it’s been over a month now. A long month of endless excuses! It’s that awkward moment when you realise you have used the period excuse a little too many times; it’s now concerning. Eeeek!

Sunday brunches with the girls have become such a pain because you can no longer laugh at their crude jokes. Certain attributes you used to find sexy about your significant other are now just bleh. Just the mere thought of it is enough to bring disturbing flashbacks, and you just can’t understand the hype behind sex anymore!

Above all, you are struggling with deep feelings of guilt and confusion. It feels lonely because the stigma surrounding sexual awareness is unforgiving, especially towards women, so you cannot share your woes with anyone.

Well, we are here to tell you that you are not alone. 

In fact, one in eight women suffer from sexual problems associated with either biological or psychological issues. And yet, despite being so common, there remains a dark cloud hanging over the topic, which is why it is not discussed enough. Worry not; we are here to guide you through these simple tips on coping with sexual dysfunction. 


1. Talk to your partner 
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Share your struggles with your partner. Source: Brides.

We know you have probably thought of this — a thousand times even, and wondered how could you ever tell your partner such heartbreaking news. 

Initiating this serious conversation can be challenging or even awkward. You might even be tempted to keep quiet and fight through this battle alone, but we assure you that good communication opens doors you never thought possible. 

So take some time off, gather your thoughts and create the right environment to discuss this with your partner. They might not quickly understand and might even feel insecure, but just remember that those feelings are temporary. 

The more you talk about the problem, the faster you will come to a solution. Don’t shoulder this burden alone. There’s no shame in being vulnerable


2. Practise a healthy lifestyle
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Healthy mind, happy soul. Source: Understanding relationships.

Anyone knows that when the good old margarita calls, we have no option but to answer. And before you know it, you would have moved from one cocktail glass to three, five, ten! Don’t ask; the math will never add up. Call it a miracle!

Taking a breather to escape from the hustle and bustle of life is indeed commendable, but always remember; too much of anything is bad for you. Too much alcohol can dull your sexual responsiveness, which is why it is always advisable that you take it in moderation. 

We also know that staying motivated enough to practise a healthy lifestyle can be tricky, especially when the kitchen keeps restocking itself with tasty bits (another miracle!). However, exercising and eating clean will increase your stamina and elevate your mood. Exercises like yoga are also great stress relievers that will lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences. 


3. Seek Counselling 
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Talk to a professional who will help you with this problem. Source: The Irish Times

Talking to a counsellor or health practitioner who is well versed in sexual and relationship problems will help you find the source of the problem. Therapy will also help you get more in touch with your consciousness, and together, you can look for ways that can optimise your body’s sexual response.  

Bear in mind that therapy can be a long and frustrating process. Hence, make sure you have a good support system that will help you deal with this. Your therapist will also advise you on ways to enhance the intimacy between you and your partner by recommending reading materials and exercises.  

Above all, always remember to be patient with yourself. The journey to recovery is never easy but neither is it impossible too so don’t give up just yet!  


4. Use a lubricant 
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A little lube to save the day. Source: Oprah Daily

If the reason behind the dysfunction is pain caused by dryness, a vaginal lubricant might be your best bet towards enhancing your sexual wellbeing. 

Live Healthily discusses lube options you might want to try out for more enjoyable moments. Be sure to do your research and check for any allergens before making a purchase. If you are still unsure, you can always ask your doctor for advice. 


5. Be experimental
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Be daring and try something new tonight. Source: Pexels

Sometimes all you need is just a little stimulation. Talk to your partner and discuss ways in which you can spice things up in the bedroom. Fill up your home with some aphrodisiac scents like rose or sandalwood, try different positions, buy a toy, do more research on what would make you feel good. Anything different from what you would typically do.

If you feel overwhelmed by all these changes, you can try scheduling your dates to avoid feeling rushed. Easy does it! Just make sure both you and your partner are comfortable, and who knows, you might discover an inner tigress within you! 


Take it easy 
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Healing takes time. Don’t rush yourself; you’re okay right where you are. Source: Pexels

Dealing with sexual dysfunction can be quite disheartening, especially if you do not fully understand what is going on. Always enquire with your doctor before making a decision, and never forget that your sexual health is also a part of your general well-being. 

Don’t allow groundless stereotypes to shame you into losing an essential aspect of your life. You’ve got this; we believe in you! 


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