A commitment like no other

By Editor / 2 November 2023

babyTwo hearts, one love, and a world of anticipation. Photo Source: FamilybyCo

  • Discover the complexities of parenthood with readiness, unity, financial stability, lifestyle changes, and career balance
  • Explore the path to parenthood, guided by love and laughter through beautiful chaos

They were not ready to become parents. 

As a kid, I thought my parents were great, even though they argued a lot. Those little arguments turned into big ones, and my dad wasn’t around much. All I wanted was for our family to be happy, and it really hurt to see them fighting.

But now, at 23, I’ve come to realise the immense importance of being truly ready for the responsibilities of parenthood. My strained relationship with my dad has taught me to cherish every bit of paternal affection I receive from the significant men in my life. It’s like mending a part of my heart I didn’t even know it was missing.

My mom did an amazing job raising my sister and me all on her own, giving us love and everything we needed. I’m deeply grateful for her sacrifices.

However, when the time comes for me to become a parent, I intend to approach it with a different perspective. Allow me to share five crucial reflections to consider before embarking on your own family journey, to ensure your children bask in the love they truly deserve.


Is Your Relationship Baby-Ready?

baby Pokok.AsiaFacing the journey of parenthood together. Photo Source: Medium 

I can’t stress enough how important it is to be on the same page with your partner. I’m not talking about finishing each other’s sentences or singing together, though.

The first step is to talk with your partner about having kids. Sit down together and ask if they’re ready for that. Understanding and respecting their feelings is essential, even if they’re not quite sure. Sometimes, they might become more open to the idea as they think about it.

Once you both agree about having kids, it’s time to think about your situation. It’s not just about being ready; you should ensure your life is child-ready.

My parents were happy to have me, but I don’t think they were completely prepared. I have a special photo of my dad and me. I was about 5 years old in the picture, and my dad hugged me tightly while I had a big smile. I don’t remember that moment, but I kept that photo for a long time to remind myself of the good times.

My grandparents used to tell me stories about how my dad was really involved in taking care of me and my sister. He did everything for us, like changing our diapers and feeding us. I wonder what changed sometimes.

That’s why talking with your partner about having kids is crucial. The decisions you make as parents don’t just affect you; they also profoundly impact your children.


Building a Stable Future for Your Kids

baby Pokok.AsiaSecuring a brighter tomorrow through parental savings, filled with hope and dreams. Photo Source: Oprahdaily

When I talk about figuring things out in your life, the first and most important thing to consider is your money.

Kids are adorable, but they can cost a lot of money. If you’re thinking about being a parent, having enough money is super important.

Having a good job that pays you regularly is a big part of the puzzle. You also need to think about all the money stuff that comes with having a kid, like doctor bills for check-ups and when the baby is born, and the cost of someone looking after your child if you’re working. If you’re considering staying home with your child, talk to your partner to ensure you can afford it with just one paycheck.

I remember my mom telling me that she started saving money for me and my sister as soon as we started school. Back then, I didn’t really understand why, but it turned out to be a big help later.

Having some money saved up is important. That’s why you should talk to your partner and make a plan for your money. It’s not just about getting ready for kids, it’s about making sure you can give them what they need without worrying about money all the time.

This planning doesn’t just make becoming a parent easier; it also means your kids can start their lives with more security and less stress.


Talking About Tomorrow

baby Pokok.AsiaCelebrating the warmth of parenthood within our home’s walls. Photo Source: Freepik

Getting ready for a little one also means embracing some changes in your lifestyle. Those wild late-night party sessions slowly transform into cosy film nights on the couch. 

Smoking and drinking might need to take a back seat, especially during the pregnancy journey.

But it’s not just about these obvious shifts, it’s the conversations that matter. Think about important topics like religion, discipline, and even what goes into your grocery cart. 

These might seem like trivial matters, but in my experience, they can grow into big arguments down the road, potentially creating chaos within the household.

I’ve realised that these little discussions are far from insignificant because they set the stage for the values you’ll pass on to your child. From what they believe in how they behave, it all starts with the agreements you make as parents.

So, based on my experience, make sure you and your partner are on the same page on these matters. These discussions are not just about the present, but are building blocks for a smoother journey into parenthood. It’s about establishing a sturdy foundation for your child’s future.


Balancing Career and Family

baby Pokok.AsiaRealigning Priorities for the Parenthood Adventure. Photo Source: Ideapod

Becoming a parent often means putting your career on hold. You’ve got to set aside your future plans and career ambitions when a baby is on the way.

My mom, she was something else. Just three days after giving birth to me, she had to attend an important exam – her degree exam. It wasn’t just about strength, it was an incredible level of determination that I admire deeply. 

I can’t picture myself doing what she did. She could have easily postponed it, but her persistence in completing her degree, even when it wasn’t expected of her, shows the sacrifices she had to make.

But it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. My mom’s determination did take a toll on her, both mentally and physically. 

So, when you’re thinking about becoming a parent, weigh the sacrifices you’ll need to make for your career. It’s a grand adventure, but it’s also vital to find a balance that works for you and ensures you can be there for your child, without overextending yourself.


Quality Time for Two

baby Pokok.AsiaCherishing serene moments, watching the sunset side by side. Photo Source: Psychologies 

Lastly, let’s not forget about your partner. It may seem trivial, but making time for each other is vital to stay connected.

Parenthood can bring challenges to your relationship, like it did for my parents when they didn’t nurture their love.

As the saying goes, “You need to fill your own cup first before filling others.” It’s true – only when both of you are in a good place can you raise a child with all your hearts. 

You’ve got to find happiness in each other, fuelling each other with joy. This way, you’ll have enough to give to your kids, creating a balanced exchange of love and happiness. 

If it feels like a one-way street, constantly giving without receiving, it can be exhausting, especially for moms.

So, keep those date nights special. Don’t be afraid to ask grandparents or friends for help now and then, and consider leaving the baby with someone you trust for a weekend getaway.

It’s about nurturing your love and ensuring you have enough to give to your children, ultimately creating a stronger and happier family.


The Beautiful Chaos Awaits

In a nutshell, there’s no play book for parenthood. You can’t predict how you’ll feel when you hold your child for the first time, or how you’ll handle the unexpected challenges.

It all boils down to one thing: Are you ready for the beautiful chaos that is parenthood? 

Whatever you do, make sure you’re ready for the ride, and start taking those steps towards making your dream of a family a reality. 

It’s an adventure filled with love, surprises, and a lot of laughter along the way.




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