How to dodge or prepare yourself to handle a bad date

By Annicia / 13 February 2023

Valentine's DayValentine’s dates should be fun! Source: letsroam 

  • Avoid awful experiences by planning the date for your safety. 

  • Prepare yourself with a fool-proof getaway plan when stuck on an unpleasant date. 

  • Have a trustable person on standby for when things go south.  

*Content warning: Sexual assault* 

 Have you planned out your date for Valentine’s carefully

As Valentine’s Day is getting closer, I’m sure many of us have some amazing dates planned out. Some may even be going on their first dates! As much as I’m excited for you guys, we can all admit that the dating world is not as cute and cuddly as it used to be. It’s scary out there.  

I asked a few people about the bad dates that they’ve been on, and I have good news for you! I went full-on Sherlock Holmes on this matter to gather insights on handling or dodging a bad date.  

1/ Plan a short date  

First and foremost, make sure to plan a short date, maybe a couple of hours. This can help you in more than one way. Firstly (the most important point), given that it is a boring date, you’d be able to leave faster and not suffer, marinating yourself in the awkward air for any longer. But, hey, if it turns out to be a great date, you can always extend it. 

The second benefit of planning a short date is, it’ll help create a sense of excitement in your dating phase with this person. Getting to see each other for a short time will allow you to limit how much you guys share and keep the rest for the next date, having both of you looking forward to it. 

Valentine Pokok.Asia
Having your date in a fancy restaurant. Source: POND5 

2/ Go to a busy area

Let’s get into the safety part of going on dates. Now, I know that you might wanna have some privacy and prefer to have your date at a quiet place, especially if it’s pretty romantic (how can you say no to that?) but, for your safety’s sake, plan the date to be held at a busier area where there are people around so that help is available if you need it.  

I had gone on a date where the guy I was seeing drove us to a secluded place and got us some drinks. Once we had a little too much to drink, he started acting weird and made me feel super uncomfortable. I panicked because there wasn’t anyone around for me to go to if things started to escalate. Luckily, my mom called, and I told him that I had to go home, so he sent me back (even though he missed my exit, that almost made me sh*t my pants).  

I never texted him again after that day. Although, I wasn’t completely naïve. I did do one smart thing before I went on the date, which is actually my next tip for you! 

Valentine Pokok.AsiaSharing your location with your trusted person. Source: tapsmart 

3/ Share your live location with someone you trust 

My one hope and relief that I was holding on to that scary night; sharing my live location with my best friend. I shared with her my location on Life360, a mobile application that allows you to track the locations of your loved ones and share yours too.  

I informed her that I was going on my first date with this guy, and although he seemed really nice on text, I wanted her to keep track of where I was going in case something went wrong. I was also updating her on what was happening. It’s always recommended or even important to update someone on your situation, especially if you feel uncomfortable. In the case of any emergencies, they would be able to provide proper information to the necessary parties. 

emergency text to escape valentinesAn “emergency call” always works. Source: gizbot 

4/ Receive an “emergency” call 

I’m sure you would’ve heard of this trick before, or even done it yourself. But if you didn’t know, a quick text to your friend and asking them to give you a fake emergency call has been one of the best ways to get yourself out of sticky situations.  

One of the people that I interviewed shared with me an instance where this trick saved her from a very unfortunate date. After talking to a guy for some time, he had invited her over to his house for a date when no one was home (she didn’t know that). When his sister came back, he locked the poor girl in his room and asked her to get out by climbing out his room window. She got out and sat in her car when he asked her if she wanted to go for a drive together (the audacity is immaculate).  

She mentioned that at this point she felt very uncomfortable but didn’t know what to do to leave the situation. That’s when she texted her friend to fake an emergency call and left immediately. 

Valentine Pokok.AsiaA much-needed self-defence kit. Source: lumina 

5/ Carry a weapon along 

Now, I’m not talking about a whole samurai sword. I mean more of a defence tool that can come in handy. Sexual assault is a sickening crime that is unfortunately common. As much as we deserve to go on dates or even for a walk outside without worries of being sexually harassed, it’s better to be prepared than to be trapped.  

Thankfully, many small businesses have emerged, selling self-defence products. Yourbaddiesociety and nalbestie are two examples of small businesses on Instagram that sell really cute and useful self-defense kits. Their products consist of pepper sprays, small yet LOUD safety sirens, window breakers, and many more. Their items are also compact and attached to key-chain rings to make it easier for you to carry them around.  

I hope you have a great Valentine’s this year. Just remember to be safe and also play safe, alright? Happy Valentine’s Day! 

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