Aunties judging your life choices during CNY. Photo credit: NBC News
Preparing to face the common annoying questions from aunties.
Owning your individuality.
How to be mature and give mature responses.
Are you tired of all your aunties asking you about your personal life that they don’t have business in? Me too, bestie.
Family is one of the permanent parts of our lives that we can’t avoid because, well, they’re family. Just thinking about the next family gathering can be so stressful. It’s been a long struggle for many of us and it’s about time we take action! Lucky for us, we have discovered these 5 ways to emotionally prepare ourselves for the next ambush, so we don’t end up having a mental breakdown.
1/ Have a response plan
We all know the common annoying questions that they’re going to ask; “have you gotten a job yet?”, “how much are you getting paid?”, “do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?”, “When are you getting married?”, and the list goes on. But wait! Hold on to that list because it’s gonna come in handy.
Think about all those questions and come up with smart responses beforehand so you’ll win the actual argument; instead of winning it in the shower later and regretting it (we have all been there). Here’s a tip; make your responses diplomatic rather than speaking from your emotions. This is the best medicine to make them go speechless. For example, “aunty, I need to focus on my career first, how to have a girlfriend if I don’t have money?”
Set boundaries if you’re uncomfortable with the questions. Photo credit: freepik
2/ Set boundaries
If you feel like the questions are getting too personal and they’re starting to take a toll on you, take a break and leave the room. Your mental health is more important than anything else. It’s okay to remove yourself from toxic situations instead of constantly feeling the need to fight them.
Another way is just to let them know. Let them know that you are not comfortable with answering certain questions or that you rather not share certain information. You may get an icy stare for this one, but that brings us to our next point, which is…
3/ Remember your individuality
Sometimes, we tend to try too hard to please our families and fit in with them. We don’t think enough about how we end up not recognising ourselves when that happens. So, here’s a reminder for you to always remember who you are and what you stand for.
For instance, shark fin soup is a popular Chinese New Year reunion dish but we’re well aware of the cruelty that takes place behind the scenes. If you’re against this, you’re likely to not consume it. In short, you don’t have to participate in everything your family does, especially when it goes against your principles.
Learn to accept the situation and talk to your family members. Photo credit: CDN
4/ Practice acceptance
Acceptance is a big need because in order to be able to emotionally handle these aunty situations, we must first accept the circumstances of our reality no matter what they might be. Being in denial or storing pent-up anger can cause you to spiral when caught under pressure.
I understand that it’s difficult, especially when the comparing game starts between you and your siblings or cousins. You need to tell yourself that it’s okay that you’re going through all the opposites of what your family expects from you because it is! Everyone goes through these obstacles in life, it’s not the end of the world!
Now, self-acceptance is one thing, but acceptance toward your family is fundamental as well. Try to understand the generational gap and the differences in mindsets. This will help you gain more understanding and knowledge which will then be of use to handling the situation better.
Reach out to friends or close family members. Photo credit: itsyourblog
5/ Get support
It’s never a bad idea to talk to a friend or even a close family member who would understand your struggles. They might be able to provide support when you get caught in such moments, be it verbal or emotional support. Other than that, you could always text a friend for an “emergency call” (this is of course the universal best way to get out of any situation).
Remember bestie, if things start getting too rough for you, please do consider seeing a therapist who can guide you or just listen to your worries. Family pressure can be a lot to take in. It’s way better than suffering in silence.
Hopefully these steps will help you prepare yourself for the upcoming family reunion. The most important thing is, have fun!
If you want to read more about hacks in dealing with everyday struggles, check out our other articles on our website!